House Rules
by ShipsoftheLine
Summary: "You know the rules, fluff." Living in an interspecies relationship can be hard, so Nick and Judy have established a series of house rules to make things easier. At least, they're supposed to make things easier, in principle.
1. Rule 1: Bedtime

House Rule #1: When one of them calls bedtime, the other has to comply. No exceptions.

"Always make sure to get the molars," his mother had told him as he first learned to brush his teeth. It was a lesson that hadn't left him, even all these years later. Of course, having one's teeth in good order was a high priority for a fox, and an even higher one for a con-man. After all, a winning smile might mean the difference between a successful hustle and a good punch to the face. Of course, Nick thought to himself as he gargled then spat his toothpaste into the sink, now his smiles tended to be a lot more genuine.

 _And it's all that dumb bunny's fault._ He sighed, then caught himself smiling at himself in the mirror. _Yep, I've definitely gone soft._ He pulled his a spare ZPD T-shirt over his head and walked out the bathroom into the bedroom, expecting to see his girlfriend and roommate changing for bed as well. Instead, he was greeted with an empty bedroom, save for himself. Yawning as he walked, the fox made his way to their apartment's small office where, lo and behold, Judy was still sitting at the desk, scratching away at paperwork.

Gently, he walked over to the chair and kissed his hardworking partner on the head, before leaning back up.

"Bedtime, Carrots."

Judy turned and threw a small pout at him.

"Come on, Nick, I'm almost through! Fifteen more minutes?"

"Nope. You know the rules, fluff. Bed," Nick said with finality. In response, Judy just hmphed and turned around to continue her work. Nick rolled his eyes.

"Are you going to be a good bunny and come yourself, or am I going to have to pick you up and carry you?"

Judy tapped the pen to her chin without turning around, but the amorousness was evident in her voice as she replied.

"Hmm, that might be nice…"

The next thing she knew, she had been scooped up into her lover's arms, and was cuddling against his warm chest as he brought her through the threshold to their bedroom. _The paperwork wasn't that important anyway,_ she decided.

* * *

"The warriors of Morngrad have pledged you their blades, my lord! We shall ride with all due haste, and meet the foe in glorious battle upon the fields of Amornon!"

Nick's eyes were transfixed on the lupine knight as he spoke, his attention so captured by the television that he didn't notice a certain bunny entering the living room. Instead, he was focusing on a different rabbit, one that had just burst into the war room, scrambling to approach the circle of knights and lords surrounding the table covered in various tactical charts and strategic maps.

"My liege, we've uncovered the identity of the assassin behind the attempt on the king's life! She was a spy posing as a handmaid to the queen, and she was under the employ of —"

"Come on, Nick, it's bedtime. And you know I can't go to sleep alone, I need something to snuggle!"

Nick sighed and favored Judy with a long-suffering look.

"Way to make me miss who the assassin's working for, Carrots," he said as he pointed at the screen. "Surely you can wait a bit longer, I want to see what happens!"

Judy frowned and tapped her foot impatiently.

"Nick, you know the rules!"

"Yeah, and you went to the academy, right? A law is only as good as its enforcement. And whereas I can pick you up and carry you to bed, I highly doubt that option is open to you," Nick replied, a smug grin plastered across his muzzle as he turned his attention back to the television, in time to see the same wolf from earlier, this time locked a vicious duel with a large hog warrior. As he did so, Judy stomped up to the table in front of the couch, picked up the remote, and shut the TV off. Before the "hey!" could even escape Nick's muzzle, Judy hopped onto the couch and stood over him.

"You think I don't have any method of enforcement, do you?" she said, venom dripping from her voice. It was the only warning Nick got before he found himself being dragged out of the living room by the ears.

As he got settled into the covers, Nick rubbed at the base of his ears, which were still pulsing with soreness at having been used as the principal method of moving him through their apartment to bed.

"Geeze, Carrots, way to go hardline! I might have to file for excessive use of force on this one."

Judy smiled mischievously and pulled the covers back before crawling onto his chest. She softly raked her small claws down his well-toned chest as she whispered, "Well, would you prefer I use gentler persuasion techniques next time?" Her eyelids fluttered suggestively as a decidedly naughty smirk crossed her face. Nick felt himself shiver as the pain in the base of his ear miraculously faded from his thoughts.

"Ah, umm… tha- that might be preferable." The fluster was evident in his voice. Judy merely giggled at him, before leaning across his muzzle so that her lips were only centimeters away from his ears.

"How about I try a few out on you right now, hmm? Let's start by kissing those poor ears better, shall we?" she whispered.

It was all Nick could do to avoid a second wave of tingles from shooting down his spine. As he felt his bunny lightly kiss his ears while her paws explored his chest, a low growl escaped his throat. His lust-addled mind formed a rough plan to push her up then pin her down, so as to seize the upper hand. However, Judy saw through him, and as he slowly eased her up, leaning forward so that she was kneeling above his legs, she forcibly shoved him back down, slamming him against the mattress before roughly diving down for his lips. With his thought-coherency rapidly deserting him, Nick wondered if this meant that he ought to break the rules more often, or never again. Just then, Judy broke off the passionate kiss and continued to hold him down with her paws on his shoulders, while her gaze travelled downward, her eyes hungrily drinking in his muscular chest, and then moving just a bit lower before swinging back up to meet his own with a wild and completely absorbing spark. It didn't matter, Nick decided. He had a much more important thing to take care of.


	2. Rule 2: Sun's Out, Bun's Out

House Rule #2: We rise with the sun. Especially on weekends. (Why do you think they call it Sunday?) One of Judy's favorite rules, because nothing is more entertaining than Nick having to exercise in the morning.

' _This bunny is going to be the death of me_.' Nick thought as he sipped at the coffee he had just finished making himself. ' _Foxes are nocturnal. We don't do the whole day time sunshine thing. It totally ruins our mysterious sly cred._ '

Somewhere, in a separate part of his head, the conniving and sarcastic part of Nick's brain decided that since Judy had yet to emerge from the bedroom, it would turn its finely honed art onto Nick himself instead.

' _Your fault for deciding to date the living perpetual pep machine._ ' the voice said. ' _And besides, which one of us decided that having the apartment rules list that you could both add to at any time with no conditions was a good idea? Face it, you hustled yourself._ '

Nick shook his head. It's going to be a long, long da—

"Alright, I'm just about ready!"

Judy emerged from their shared bedroom decked out in her tight-fitting jogging attire, complete with a pink headband and earbuds that trailed down to her phone in a side pocket. Nick gave her a once-over and decided that maybe he had been too hasty to judge this particular rule.

' _I could get used to this rule…'_

"So here's the plan. Light warm up, with a few laps around Zootopia Central Park, then a bit of stretching, and then we'll speed walk back here for lunch, sound good?"

' _Nevermind. I'm never getting used to this rule.'_

"Ah, Carrots? Forgive me, but isn't that a little excessive? Maybe we could tone it down a notch for our first run together. For example, we could start here, do a jog down the block to the Bugga Burger culinary establishment where we can pick up some nutritious protein-enriched dietary supplements to help us —"

"Very funny, Nick, let's get going!"

Nick turned around to dump the dregs of his coffee down the sink, speaking as he put his mug in the dishwasher.

"I was being completely serious, Fluff!"

He turned around, and Judy was nowhere to be found.

"Carrots?" he called as he sprinted out the door, only to see her halfway down the hall, already at a jogging pace.

"Hey, look who decided to catch up!" She said as she made her way toward the stairway, making a point to dash past the elevators as she did so.

Nick groaned what wouldn't be his last groan that day.

' _Maybe rule #3 should be that only I get to make rules from now on._ '

* * *

It was their third lap around Zootopia Central, and for all of his whining and complaining, Nick had kept pace very well.

' _I guess all of those Academy drills really did make something out of you, didn't_ _they_?' Judy thought. Though, strangely enough, Nick always seemed to pace himself so he'd be behind her, even when it seemed he could easily overtake her.

"Hey, slowpoke, are all foxes just lazily content with second place, or is it just you, Slick?" she teased over her shoulder at her boyfriend.

She caught Nick flashing her a sly wink as he pumped his arms back and forth and continued his brisk pace.

"Look, Carrots, if you had as fine a view as I did from back here, you'd be in no rush for the lead either. Speaking of which, are these jogging pants new? I'm quite sorry this is the first time I'm seeing them!"

Judy blushed a deep red and tried to think of a response, unknowingly slowing her pace just as Nick put on a burst of speed and accelerated past her.

"Come on, Carrots! I thought you were the best at keeping focus! Ah, well, I guess since you're so into trying everything, you can try being the slower one for a change!"

Judy's face was a mixture of shock and pleasure as she redoubled her efforts and began to close the small gap between her and Nick. For all of his teases, Judy was glad that Nick was taking the run seriously. It would make victory all the sweeter knowing that she beat him at his best.

* * *

"I… can't believe … you …" Judy stammered out between gasps of air.

"What, beat you in a footrace? Didn't you know? I was one of those super hot track stars back in high school. Tore it up on the track and then signed autographs after bringing home gold," Nick replied, seeming completely unfazed despite the arduous run he just completed.

Judy summoned up the last reserves of her energy so she could roll her eyes at him.

"Well… since you're so good at this, you really should have no objections to doing this every morning then, right?" Judy asked.

Nick spat out his water as his eyes bugged out at the prospect of sacrificing even more daytime hours that could be used sleeping on that most wretched of causes: self-improvement.

"Now, now, let's not be hasty, Carrots!" Nick quickly said. "I'd argue that this shows that I am in peak physical shape and am in no need of additional running sessions, thank you very much!"

As he finished saying that, he looked down at his rabbit partner, who looked back up at her with her eyes half-lidded. Nick started to panic.

' _That's the hustle look. I'm about to get hustled. But how? What I said makes perfect sense, I've got all of my bases covered! There's no way she can_ —'

Judy grinned as she deployed her trump card.

"Well then, I guess you'll never see these running pants again, then, seeing as I only wear them when I go out in the mornings. Shame, too. I seem to recall a certain fox boyfriend taking quite the liking to them, and thought he'd appreciate the opportunity to see them more often?"

Nick's jaw dropped.

' _Be strong, Nick! Think of the bed, the sweet bed, and how it's always the most comfy in the morning! How nice it is to wake up at noon! Your pillow! Just don't think about the way her hips swing as she runs… or how her little cottontail pokes out of the pants and bounces with her strides and … oh god, it's all over.'_

Nick sighed, defeated.

"You're a cruel bunny, Carrots. A cruel, cruel bunny."

Judy just giggled, and hopped up to kiss him on the side of his muzzle.

"Yeah, but you love me anyway! Now come on, let's go get some milkshakes or something. I'd say we earned a treat after today, right? I hear Bugga Burger does them pretty well, and we could check out their line of dietary supplements while we're over there?"

A grin made its way across Nick's face as he shook his head and looked at his girlfriend with raw affection.

'Yeah, _maybe I can get used to this rule...'_


	3. Rule 3: If it works for Gazelle (Part 1)

A/N: Hey guys! Sorry for the tardiness of this update, but I've got some explaining to do! I've made several attempts at a third rule, one involving Nick calling his folks every now and again, another involving Judy not-overworking herself, but none of those chapters really seemed to come together. I might try taking another stab at them later, but for now, I wanted to give this rule a shot instead. It's going to be broken up into two parts, and I know this is both a bit of slower burn than my usual chapters, which clock in at about 1K words but tell a complete story arc, and also kind of plot-setup heavy. So please review or PM and let me know what you think of this style, because I find that a lot of my chapter drafts lean toward this longer, more drawn-out writing, though I'm not sure if I like it... But anyway, here you go! Rule #3!

* * *

House Rule #3: Try Everything. When Judy first put this one on the board, she thought it'd be a fun way for the pair of them to try new things. Now, though, she's not so sure...

"I know you like Gazelle's music, Carrots, but isn't this one a little vague?" Nick said as he studied the new and quite brief addition to their apartment's rule board.

"Yeah, that's the point! We have to try _everything_! Even the rule itself under the try everything umbrella, if you think about it, because we have to try out the rule!"

"Woah, that's… that's actually kind of deep… give me a moment." Nick said, his eyebrows scrunching and his eyes veering upward as he seemed to ponder the self-referential nature of Judy's new idea. Then he shook his head and chuckled to himself.

"Nah, it's not that deep. It's just dumb." He earned himself a punch to the shoulder for that remark.

Two days after the rule had first been posted, Judy came home one evening with a surprise for Nick.

"Hey Slick, guess what?" she said cheerfully, as she held a piece of paper behind her back.

Nick raised his eyebrows as he turned from the TV to look at the bunny.

"What?"

"I signed us up for yoga classes! Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays after work!" She displayed the flyer she had, which depicted a zebra executing a pose that Nick honestly didn't think was possible for a zebra, or any mammal that had a full allotment of bones. He sighed and decided that the rules board might have been the worst idea he ever came up with since the skunk-butt rug hustle.

* * *

Three weeks later, after having tortuously soldiered through the course, he found that he still didn't believe it was possible.

"Tell you what, Carrots, I say that flyer was a scam. I'll bet you anything photo-editing was involved," he remarked as the two of them were getting ready to leave to studio after their last class.

"Anything?" Judy replied, amused.

"Sure, anything," Nick said offhandedly.

"If you're wrong, you'll have to the dishes for a week."

"Deal. I'll go ask the front desk, though I doubt they'll fess up."

Judy smiled. "No need, dumb fox. Look to your left."

Nick swung his gaze leftward, and lo and behold, the same zebra on the flyer was right there, striking the exact same pose.

 _I'm glad this is the last class._ Nick's internal voice grumbled. _I hope I never see this place again_.

However, Nick's reprieve would not last. Just when he was getting used to the feeling of not having his muscles aching around the clock, Judy threw him for another loop. The two of them were cuddled up in bed, ready for sleep after a long day of work. Nick was just about to nod off when Judy spoke up.

"Hey, Nick?" she whispered into the darkness.

Nick wrapped his arms around her and gave her a gentle little squeeze as he replied.

"Yes, love?" His voice slurred slightly with drowsiness, but the affection was easily detectable. It almost made Judy feel guilty about what she was going to say next.

"I was thinking…" she began, pausing to make sure her fox was still paying attention.

"Mhmmm?" came the reply, again somewhat unclear, though this time it was because Nick was nuzzling the top of Judy's head with his muzzle.

"We should do a juice cleanse."

The nuzzling stopped.

"We should do a what?" Surprisingly for someone who seemed to be on the verge of unconsciousness moments ago, Nick sounded extremely lucid in his question.

"A juice cleanse. You know, try everything!"

"Ok Carrots, first you sign me up for a scam exercise class —"

"That was no scam! That zebra really could do that move, remember?"

"—and now you want to me to try a scam diet? You know those cleanses don't really work, right?"

Judy rolled over and crawled up on top of Nick's chest.

"Come on, Nick! It's no scam! I heard that some people feel great after they do it! Just one week, ok?"

Nick huffed, and turned his head away from Judy. Then he felt the bunny's paw slowly push his muzzle back to center, and he found himself staying into Judy's wide eyes. For the first time in his whole life, Nick cursed his night vision, because it allowed him to see his lover's eyes in crisp detail, even in the darkness. Then again, he doubted that fiery lavender would be any less radiant even if he lacked said night vision.

"Come on, Nick? Do it for me? Please?" Judy cooed, still holding her lover in her wide-eyed, pleading gaze.

Nick sighed the sigh of a defeated fox.

"You know I'd do anything for you and those witch-eyes of yours, Carrots."

Judy smiled and nuzzled into the cream-white fur of his chest, before leaning upward to kiss and nibble his neck.

"I love you, Nick. And don't worry, I'll make it worth your while," Judy said suggestively as she prepared to fall asleep on his chest

 _Maybe it won't be so bad…_ Nick thought as he drifted off.

* * *

 _I was wrong. It's awful._ Nick stewed as he downed his so-called "lunch." While Nick was an avid connoisseur of fast food and fried delicacies, he was no stranger to the vegetable, and yet he was convinced that only pure evil could produce a concoction with such an ungodly greenish hue. He ventured a look at the ingredients list. _Oh boy. Kale. Again. If Carrots wanted to starve me to death, there had to be an easier way to do it._

The plastic bottle the kale juice came in made a speedy journey to through the air to a recycling bin as Nick studied the next juice in his current meal installment. This one looked much more appealing, for it had a bluish color. _Oh woah, this one has blueberries in it! Sign me up!_ After almost a week of some of the worst juices he had ever had the misfortune of consuming (and to be fair, a few pleasant ones. The carrot-apple one wasn't that bad), the purple-blue liquid in front of him seemed like a godsend. As he nursed his actually-bearable drink, he decided that it was time to go on the offensive.

 _What we need to have happen_ , the conman voice in Nick's head said, _is for us to use the try everything rule to force Judy into doing something so out there, she'll either drop the rule or at least stop using it to make my life miserable._

It was a sound plan, in theory. But what would that something be? After all, Judy was an adventurous bunny if nothing else, and he could think of less than a handful of things that she would even blink at before running headlong into for the sake of new experiences.

He scratched his head and pulled out his phone. Absentmindedly, he scrolled through the newsfeed of his social media, stopping when he saw an ad shared by Emmitt Otterton. Apparently, the florist had gone back to being a regular naturalist club patron.

' _Mystic Springs Oasis is holding a couples' special for a two-mammal membership package starting next Monday! Mention me as your referrer when you apply!'_ the post read.

Nick smiled a devious smile, and looked up as Judy walked in with another small box of juice bottles.

"Hey Nick, whatcha looking at?"

"Ah, nothing, Carrots," he said, turning a devilish grin toward Judy. "Say, don't you think it's my turn to use the 'Try Everything' rule?"

Judy looked at Nick with suspicion, but nonetheless replied, "Sure, I don't see why not?"

Nick then turned away and took up his phone, beginning to dial a number.

"Great," he called back at Judy as he made the call. "I'll let you know what it is once I've arranged it all."

As the dial tone played in his ear, he turned back to his bunny and flashed her a sly wink.

"Don't worry, Carrots. It's a surprise."


	4. Rule 3: If it works for Gazelle (Part 2)

"You can't be serious, Nick." The look on Judy's face screamed that she desperately hoped he wasn't, even when she knew that he was. It had been the seventh time she'd stated the supposed fact, starting from when he revealed their destination of the day in the car to now, as they stood in front of Mystic Spring Oasis. Each time she informed Nick of his less-than-seriousness, she did so with less surety and what seemed like an increasing amount of panic.

"Well, Fluff, I am! Come on, what happened to 'try everything?'"

"But… the Naturalist Club? Isn't that going a bit far? I know you didn't exactly enjoy the cleanse or the yoga, but can't you pick something else?"

Nick shook his head. "The rule isn't 'Try everything within reason,' Jude, it's 'Try everything.' Besides, you should've known better than to get in the way of me and my food. And you did promise to make that cleanse 'worth my while.'"

Judy sighed, and then looked up at Nick with imploring eyes.

"Please, Nick? It's not that I don't want to try, it's just…"

Nick stopped walking toward the entrance and turned back around, cocking his head slightly to the side as he studied his mate.

"What's wrong, Judy?"

Judy seemed a little bashful, and a small blush crept into her cheeks as she sidled up to her boyfriend and leaned up toward his ears.

"There are just some views that I'd… well… I prefer it if they were just for you, you know?" She whispered.

Nick's gaze softened a little as he heard her words, but he knew he had to stay the course. He walked back toward Judy and looked her in the eyes.

"It won't be as bad as you think, ok? And also, we've learned a lesson about the 'Try Everything' rule, haven't we, now?" The superiority was evident in his voice.

Judy didn't reply, and just looked more than a bit forlorn. Nick decided that it was time to press it home, and leaned down to her eye level.

"You'll call off the rule, then?"

Judy sighed and bowed her head. She knew when she lost.

"Yes. When we get home we can strike rule three out."

Nick straightened out and turned around.

"Good, let's go in."

Judy looked ahead, mouth agape.

"B-but I called off the rule! So we don't need to do this anymore! Please Nick, I'd really rather not - "

"Relax, Fluff. I booked us a private section. They had a few open as part of the couples' special. Nobody gets to see my bunny except for me."

The gears turned slowly in Judy's head as she realized her flaw.

"So… so then I didn't need to call off the rule! I had nothing to worry about?"

"Yep. It's called a hustle, sweetheart," he said as he flashed a wink at Judy. "Boom."

Judy just shook her head and chuckled as she fell into step with Nick. "Sly fox."

* * *

Judy sat under a fake palm frond and studied her mate. Since they entered the private couples booth, all Nick had done was take a cross-legged sitting position in the center of the small area and close his eyes. At first, Judy quietly studied him, respecting his peace. After all, it was rare for her to see her usually very animated mate in such a state of tranquility. That, and the rays of sunlight coming from the skylight made his russet fur absolutely radiant, and she was quite enamoured. After a while, though, her patience wore thin as the minutes dragged on, until finally Judy decided that Nick had had enough peace for one day.

The bunny laid herself down across his lap, so that Nick was treated to a full view of her front as Nick opened his eyes and looked down.

"Sorry to disturb you, Slick, but surely there's something we're supposed to do besides just sit around?"

Nick adopted a surprisingly wolfish grin as he asked, "Got anything in mind, darling?"

Judy let a saucy smile cross her face as she rotated herself to be upright and now kneeling on her boyfriend's lap, her paws on his shoulders and her lips mere centimeters away from his own. She leaned in slowly, and as Nick veiled his eyes, Judy surprised him by shoving him backwards so that he fell onto his back, his legs flailing out of their crossed position as Judy straddled over him. Then, satisfied in the dominant position she now held, proceeded to lean in again, this time with every intention of kissing her fox and showing him how much she loved him and —

"Ahem."

Both bunny and fox swung their gazes toward the source of the throat-clearing sound to see Yax, standing at the entrance of the booth.

"So I just, like, moseyed on in here to check and see if guys, like, we're breaking in ok. Looks like you guys are doing fine, but like, this is still a naturalist club so, you know, if you're gonna go all out, power to ya, my mammals, but it'd be pretty chill if you guys could like, wait, and maybe not do it here, you know?"

* * *

"So, not so bad, was it, Carrots?"

"You mean besides the utter embarrassment of Yax walking in on us? Yeah, not too bad. The oil massage was heavenly."

"Eh, I still say I could've done better for ya, Fluff," Nick replied, waggling his eyebrows at Judy.

Judy smirked back at him as the two walked back to their apartment. "Well, since Yax _did_ say to wait until we got home. I don't see why we can't test your theory when we get back."

Nick let a small growl out. "Theory, Carrots? I'll have you know that while that ocelot may have been an experienced masseuse, _nobody_ knows my bunny better than I do. If you want me to prove it to you, I will."

Judy smiled as she wrapped an arm around Nick's side.

"I believe you, silly. But some additional testing, just to be sure, might be nice."

"Well, if you already believe me, then I don't think that's necessary," Nick began, a mischievous look spreading across his face as he looked down at Judy. "Instead, since your muscles are already nice and loose from the club, I say we do something a little more active, why not?"

"Active? You haven't seen enough of me already today, given where we've been?" came Judy's coy reply.

"Carrots, you know I can't ever get enough of you."

Judy smiled as they went through the door of their building and walked toward the stairs to their floor. When they arrived back into their apartment, Judy leaned up to kiss her lover.

"Give me a few minutes to get ready, ok? Wait out here."

Nick obliged, sneaking in a quick kiss on her ear before letting her walk into the bedroom. As Nick waited, he moved to the kitchen for a glass of water. After all, their 'activities' would be thirsty work, he knew, so better to hydrate beforehand.

"Nick?" came an alluring siren-song voice. "I'm ready!"

The fox had never finished a glass of water so fast. He skidded to a stop under the threshold to their bedroom, to see Judy laying across their bed, a matching set of violet lingerie on and the most jaw-dropping look on her face as she rested a paw at her hip.

"Come get me, predator."

Nick didn't need telling twice.


End file.
